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”“Exactly! He’s definitely the sort to give any of the existing woodsmen a run for their money, even at fifty plus. I mean, hey, if Ron Jeremy could make a career in porn, so can our Abe! Father Abraham, indeed! Honest Abe!” Rebecca teased me a bit.“He just needs the Lincoln beard,” my daughter Emma joked now.“Oh, yes, I can see it now. A porn star who looks enough and shares enough of a name with our Sixteenth President, the Great Emancipator! Talk about writing your own meal ticket!” Kay chimed in.“He is kind of tall and lanky, too. Not at all your stereotypical Ohio Jew in physique,” Fanny noted with amusement.“Stereotypes are half-truths at best. That was especially true about us, the Chosen People,” Rachel pointed out.“Truth!” Rebecca agreed with enthusiasm.“I’d probably just look Amish, though,” I made a self-deprecating jest.“That’s a good gimmick, too, though. Amish farmers, some of them probably are nice in bed. Not much else to do in Amish country, is there? I’ve seen it a. The only person I have ever opened up to was Gram and I quickly learned what happens when you trust someone enough to tell them everything. ‘Oh my god,’ she blurted out. ‘That is bullshit and unacceptable. Do you want me to help you go kick his ass?’ My crying turned to a few giggles, ‘No, but thank you. The last thing I need right now is to see that jerk ever again. Even if it’s in a pool of his own blood.’ I appreciated the offer though and God knows I have thought about it. I could already tell that I liked this girl. My phone rang, letting me know I had a new text but I knew who it was and did not want to be rude to this girl so I just put my phone in my purse. The girl nodded and smiled, ‘I’m Stacy.’ She reached out a hand to shake mine but I had been blowing my nose into a napkin so I just showed her the tissue. She winced and pulled her hand away. ‘I’ll shake your hand later – after I wash.’ I said playfully. Stacy smiled and replied, ‘Deal.’ She twiddled her thumbs for an.
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